I so dearly love a cottage in winter!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Been A Long Time

It has been forever since I last posted.  Like two years.  I'm busy.  It turns out 3 kids might have been our limit and 4 just kinda pushed us over the edge, a bit.

Do you ever have one of those days...

First thing...the scale tells you that you have lost 2 pounds!!!  2 pounds, I said!  In spite of the fact that you ate fried mozzarella sticks for supper and had a dessert of fried jalapeno bites (shut up.  seriously.  i live down the street from Arby's AND i skipped the jamocha shake, which earns me a gold star sticker).

Your kids are such cute, witty, funny little critters all day.  The kind of kids you always dreamed of having...matching clothes, pretty smiles, pink-shining cheeks.  They get along like a bible story (what?  i know there are not stories about kids getting along in the Bible, but if there were...these would be the kids).

You get every single item on your "to do" list accomplished...in a skirt...singing songs...pretty, merry little songs...not Nirvana Never Mind or NIN I Want to F...no, think Marry Poppins in flip flops!

Your sweet baby takes her two naps right on schedule.  You make a delicious supper that you all eat...sitting at the table...while you banter benignly over "who was the best President ever".  

You get all the kids to bed on time.  You never once even look at the proliferation of booze in the fridge and think "my god, is it time yet".  After bedtime stories you trot around the house (sans underwire of course) singing "We are the Champions" while congratulating yourself on another day all neatly wrapped up.  

Your husband comes home from a long day at work and greets you with "Hot mutha of fried chocolate!!!  You look like sex on legs, baby!  No, really!  How did you become even MORE gorgeous today while I was at work?!" (this is MY story and he really does say this in my story. zip it.).

??? No? Blank Stare.  Aghast.  Slightly uncomfortable.

Don't worry.  I've NEVER had one of those days either!  

Takes a bow.  

This story was brought to you today by a woman who might or might not be hiding in her closet for three minutes of muthereffingsilence...glaring at her scale...seriously, that thing is such a dick-head!   

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